husband
Me, the Husband, & OCD
May 19, 2010 | 
Author I’m blogging for Mental Health Week today. I, of course, totally forgot so this is last minute (should have done it ahead of time as I had originally planned! grr) But nevertheless, I am blogging now for Mental Health Week.
My husband has OCD – along with depression and anxiety disorder…but I’m going to talk about the OCD.
His main thing with the OCD is hand washing. But he also has issues with his clothes being clean and a whole bunch of bathroom issues that I will spare you from. (you can thank me later)
Actually, I don’t even think hand washing is the main thing. I guess cleanliness, but only to a certain degree…like our house can be a complete pit, yet he doesn’t care or doesn’t do anything about it. Which I find kind of strange, but I guess I’m not supposed to understand it, it makes sense to him, right?
I can admit that I don’t understand my husband’s OCD at all.
But I love him and have to live with him and it’s a part OF him, so I deal as best as I can. I try to be supportive and patient and understand but some of it is just odd and frustrating and wears me out.
I see him running through some of his rituals and I want to shake him and just yell…snap out of it!!
You see, he wasn’t ALWAYS like this…or at least not as bad as he is – and mind you, he’s not that bad. I’ve seen the show Obsessed, yeah…he’s not that bad.
His OCD developed over time.
The past few years have been hard. He was diagnosed with APS and Lupus and a mess of other auto-immune lovelies, and then depression set in because he went from working and going out with friends, having fun…etc to sick sick sick and losing job after job till finally getting on disability. And with the depression came out the OCD.
So while I can understand that he’s gone through a lot of changes, I don’t always understand…which is hard at times.
The easiest way for me to deal with it, is for me to just deal with it…ya know? I know he has OCD, I know a lot of his issues and I try to make things easier for him if I can…I buy him hand sanitizer (they have wipes now, did you know that?) and make sure we have hand soap and let him pick out the scent he likes, and I try to make sure we always have rubber gloves in the house for him to use when necessary (he uses them for a lot of things!!!) and I try not to bring attention to it in public or when we’re with our families or friends.
And then sometimes, I think it’s all totally ridiculous and wish he’d get help for it, or work through it or something! – this doesn’t happen as often as it used to.
I guess it’s with anything, ya know? You deal with it.
My husband has OCD. He’s a hand washing, clothes washing, rubber glove wearing fool, but I love him and I even love his OCD. It’s part of him but not WHO he is. I hope he knows that. And sometimes it’s those little quirky things that he does that makes me love him more. At least his clothes are always clean, he bathes regularly and his hands are always clean…those are positives, right? lol
Plus…I have my little issues as well, and he overlooks them…so I do my best to overlook or deal with his.
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Husband’s INR Draws & Kudos to APSFA!
This is one of the blog topics I’ve been wanting to blog about but haven’t gotten to due to the week from hell and other weddingly things that have been going on.
My husband is on Coumadin and needs to have his blood drawn to see what his INR is. Because of his diseases, he should be getting this drawn weekly and then get his result right away and have his medication (Coumadin) dosed accordingly.
He recently switched doctors and hospitals due to a lot of issues with his PCP and the distance he had to drive…just lots of random issues with things at the other hospital. He was on Lovenox (which is a Low Molecular Weight Heparin type drug and is injected twice a day) but he wanted to be back on Coumadin. So his hematologist set him up with INR draws at his office and put him back on the Coumadin.
Everything was going fine.
I wasn’t thrilled with the way his doctor was scheduling his INR draws…2 weeks apart, or a month apart…and he was getting his results at the next visit. I knew this was going on, and I wasn’t happy about it, but my husband didn’t seem to mind too much and I have been trying to let him handle his own medical stuff.
So this went on for a few months…
Then, we get a bill for 110 for office visits for his blood draws. Wait, what? A blood draw is an OFFICE visit? Since when? Seems, since he’s actually seeing the doctor IN his OFFICE, they’ve been billing it as an office visit – resulting in us having to pay a co-pay for said office visits.
Ridiculous. Purely ridiculous.
Ok, so being that I work at our health insurance company, I emailed them and asked if there is something they can do about these blood draws being billed as office visits. They got back with me right away and said that they couldn’t do anything because they were billed AS office visits and not lab draws.
UGH!!!
So i txt the hubbs and tell him there’s nothing the insurance can do, they’re billing wrong and he needs to call the office.
This is where I don’t know exactly how it happened…but I have a feeling that my husband couldn’t get anywhere speaking with the office, or didn’t know how to explain it, or was getting too frustrated to speak (he begins to stutter really bad when he gets too frustrated or worked up)…and I know he was in contact with Tina, President of the APSFA, my partner in crime and our friend…because he calls her when he has to deal with his medical and health stuff…
So not only are his INR draws being done incorrectly (with too much time in between), and he’s not getting his results soon enough…getting his INR a week after it was drawn does NOT help with dosing him!…and they’re also billing us incorrectly? Yeah, not gonna fly. I would have called and bitched, but I was at work…so Tina stepped in as an advocate for the patient from the APSFA.
Tina called and spoke to someone at the desk (a secretary I believe) and gets further than the husband was getting. The secretary didn’t know exactly what was going on, but she did explain and they discussed a few other things. I honestly need to see if HIPAA was breached because Tina said she got further than she should have.
Anyway, I was fuming about it all…so was Tina…so was my husband.
I wish I could have called the doctor while I was mad because I knew if I talked to them after the fact I’d either lose my nerve or be over the entire thing and be out…
And that’s exactly what happened.
When I talked to the office, the woman was very nice and said she’s just a secretary after all. When I talked to the doctor a couple days later, he basically dismissed me and was like…blah blah blah and that’s why.
Ugh. Stupid.
But, what IS going to happen…my husband will be going somewhere else to get his INR draws. Somewhere that can process the WHOLE blood draw and get the INR ON site and not have to “send it out” – which was what was happening at the office. So stupid. So, Monday he’ll go in to his doctor office EARLY, get a script from the doctor and go elsewhere. Hopefully, then he’ll be able to call the office in the afternoon and they will have his INR and dosage for him. If he does this every Monday, then there shouldn’t be an issue…right?
We’ll see.
I am just glad that we have someone like Tina, who is not only a great friend of mine and my husband’s, but also President and co-founder of the APSFA…in our corner. She is always there when we need her for questions or to discuss a doctor’s appointment, or in cases like this where I cannot speak for my husband and he cannot speak for himself.
If No One Is Home To Listen Will A Man Still Yell At The TV?
Kind of like…if no one’s in the woods to hear, does a falling tree make a noise?
My husband was watching the news…yes, the NEWS and was screaming at the television like it was sports or something. I understand why though. Detroit’s mayor, Kwame Kilpatrick, has been in a lot of trouble. Lots of scandals…a party and a dead stripper at the Manoogian Mansion (I LOVE that word!)…text message scandals…cheating on his wife…assaulting an officer…the list goes on and on and on. He went to jail at one point and had a tether on for the most part of the last month and has had numerous court dates! Personally, I’m tired of it all…but the hubbs…oh he LOVES it! He’s all in and gets really riled up. It’s funny to see.
So I was just curious if men also yell at the tv when no one is home to listen to them…I almost think he yells for my benefit. LOL
I finished Amazing Grace today at work and my supervisor surprised me with by loading her old ipod with a ton of books!! So, now I’m listening to Sisters by Danielle Steele. With all of those books at my fingertips, I didn’t know which one to start with!!! lol I almost needed someone to tell me which is good and what to listen to. I started a couple others before settling on Sisters. I spent way too much time sitting there flipping through the books. I wish I could read a little synopsis or else look them up on Amazon before hand to see what they’re about. The title tells me very little. I still need to finish Dark Destiny which is on my iPod….oooh and the new Carpatheian book comes out today! I almost forgot…
I went to the Copa….Copacabana that is!!
For my mom’s birthday, my father, sisters, and my husband and I gave my mom tickets to see Barry Manilow. She asked me to go with her.
The concert was tonight and it was awesome!! Our seats were great…not too far up, not too far down. The show was just great! He’s an excellent performer. I had a really good time and I think my mom did too!!!
We always listen to the “Ultimate Manilow” CD when we list things on eBay. We put it in when there’s no Christmas music on the radio or for a change from the radio. It gets us pumped and it’s a lot of upbeat songs. I couldn’t stand it in the beginning, but I’m a fan now, the album is even in my ipod.
Right now it’s 1:58am and it’s snowing like the dickens outside!! Will make for some pretty pictures in the morning! I can’t wait to take some. The dogs love the snow, they are so funny too…they prance around in it and play.
It’s Fana’s first time seeing snow too!! And maybe Malcolm and Beans. I am not sure if they saw snow at the shelter or not. Alex (Fana), Malcolm, Jellybean (Beans) and Razzle are our kitties. I may take the Fana out to put his paws in the snow. That will be funny!
Oh, and the husband will get to play with his new/used snowblower (insert Tim The Toolman’s grunt here). I’m sure he will LOVE that. Hopefully it works and everything for him, we have a lot of driveway that needs to be done.
Ohhhh!!! AND!! I almost forgot!! Another Christmas Miracle!! Kisses, another cat I NEVER thought would get adopted went home with her new someone today!!! There was this older gentleman who was looking for an adult female cat and he was at the shelter for HOURS today looking at all of our kitties. We have mostly females so there are a lot to choose from. He finally decided on Kisses!! She’s a good cat, just moody and temperamental and wants love on her own terms. But I’m SO glad he adopted her. I think it will be a good match!! I hope anyways, she needs a chance to be in a home. First Buddah, now Kisses…and omg, maybe Ariel too!!! Now if we could just get Safari adopted!
Ok…I need to get some sleep…I get to sleep in (if the dog lets me!!) tomorrow!! AND I have no where to be, so I can have a lazy-take-my-time-doing-things kind of day! PURE BLISS!
A Man and His Clothes…Amazing!
I am absolutely astonished at the amount of clothes that my husband has. He easily has 3x the clothes that I do. Stupid thing about this is that he wears about 1/3 of them…and shuffles the rest around washing them.
I kid you not. I was separating clothes tonight and the man has about 6 pairs of jeans in the laundry baskets. How many pairs fit him? Probably 2. Then why are we keeping the other 4 pair?? I have no clue!!!
He has around 100 t-shirts. And he wears maybe 10. Hats are another problem…he has boxes of hats. He does wear them, but why the heck do you need so many? Don’t most guys have a favorite hat and that’s that? Not my guy!
The other thing is…he wears the same few outfits and washes them about every other day. He has 2 sets of shelter clothes, and one set of work clothes. So those, ok…may need washing a lot, but he washes his coat every couple days too. Does he not realize that clothes start to fall apart after so many washings??
He also wears the same bed clothes, same 4 or 5 pairs of socks and the same boxers over and over again…yes, they are washed…but we’re doing laundry on a daily basis here.
We don’t have a dresser to keep all these clothes in, our bedroom isn’t very big and so he has clothes all over the house. I asked him to put some of the t-shirts and other clothes that didn’t fit right now, but that he didn’t want to throw away into these tubs I bought…well, he misunderstood me and just put clothes in the tub that he wanted to keep and needed to be put away. So all of the clothes that don’t fit or whatever are in the house.
I just don’t understand this issue with the clothes and all the washing. it’s getting ridiculous. And don’t get me wrong…I love the man dearly, but his little quirks and this OCD business with the clothes is beginning to drive me batty!
Someone hold me, plz.
