"He is your friend, your partner, your defender, your dog. You are his life, his love, his leader. He will be yours, faithful and true, to the last beat of his heart. You owe it to him to be worthy of such devotion." ~ Unknown

Downhill

I don’t know what happened this past month with Topaz.

We had asked the vet if we could put him on the Meclizine for a longer period than just the 10 days they initially had put him on since he did get worse again after coming off of both meds. They gave us another 10 days worth and again, once he was off the medication, he went back to not doing well. So we called and just got a month’s worth.

And he was doing better.

And then, suddenly, he started going back downhill.

I don’t know what happened.

He’s so wobbly and having a hard time getting up. When he does get up he stumbles and walks crooked hitting his head on walls and running into things. And the falling. He keeps. On. Falling.

He’s not even laying down normally.

He’s been crated a lot lately for long hours because I was in the hospital and my husband was up there visiting with me. He’s been eating at off hours for the same reasons. Saturday (9/6/14) he was crated most of the day and when I got home he didn’t even get up in his cage to greet me. Usually he is up and ready to go outside. He didn’t even stand up.

And when I let him out…I swear, I thought he had a seizure. He was acting really post ictal…stumbling, not steady on his feet, wobbly. So I checked the blankets…they were a little damp, but it didn’t smell like urine. I checked him…didn’t see signs of the foaming or even really urination.

I gave him the usual medication I would give in the after seizure cocktail – valium, PB, and Rescue Remedy. Little did I know, my husband gave him a valium that morning for the same reason.

This morning, he did not get up when I did…something he ALWAYS does. I had to help him stand up. I let him out and helped him down to the stairs to the grass.

I fed him, gave him his meds, and just had him relax.

He has not changed. He’s still wobbly, stumbly…

He’s just not the same dog.

I have always said that my husband and I would do everything we could to help him as long as we could afford to do so and as long as I thought his quality of life was not suffering.

I cannot afford extensive testing to find out what is wrong with him. If this makes me horrible…then so be it. That sounds cold, but trust me…he is my heart dog and my heart is completely breaking in half right now.

He could have had a seizure while crated in the past few days and we didn’t know. Shit, he could have had a stroke, or have a tumor or something. We have no idea.

I do know that this dog that he is right now is not the crazy Topaz that I know. It makes me so sad to see him like this and he cannot be happy laying and stumbling around.

I’m 80% sure that my husband and I have made the toughest decision that a pet owner has to make. And again, my heart is absolutely breaking.

We will see what tomorrow brings.

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